I'm not saying that one of the cats did eat my earphones, and I'm not saying that one of the cats didn't eat my earphones, I'm just saying that my brand new Sennheiser earphones no longer work in my left ear, and that there are exposed wires covered in cat saliva.
After spending a few minutes being angry and another couple idly wondering whether there is a world distance record for cat hurling, it occurred to me (in the style of the flashback at the end of the Sixth Sense) that we've spent literally hours over the last six days teaching both cats to chase colourful pieces of string on a stick. I've been perfectly training them to do this to me.